I am devastated that we lost our last location and still do not know why. I miss people gathered in our huge, unexpected space laughing and eating and drinking.
I miss feeling like space was limitless and being only limited my own creativity. Now I feel like my creativity is being limited by our space.
I am hurt. I feel like I was stabbed in the heart and punched in the gut and never saw it coming. It feels like the wind was taken out of my sails, torn and I nearly hung by the fabric.
It’s so hard to continue to always be the positive, glass half full, it’s all going to work out face. Even though it looks easy doesn’t mean it actually is.
Sometimes people can be so incredibly mean. Yelp, Facebook, Instagram, Square feedback, Google my Business- yes I read and respond to them all. Even though there are 50 supporters to every one attacker, those words still hurt; and they’re the ones repeating in your mind. It’s as if people don’t realize on the other side of their expectations is a person who has poured their entire self into the thing they want to tear down. Constructive feedback is always welcome and appreciated, but goodness people forget that we are all humans.
Owning a business can make you feel both completely isolated and socially burnt out all at the same time.
I feel immense stress. Is something going to go wrong, will we pass an inspection, is the staff taken care of, is my family taken care of, did I file all of the paperwork, is everything paid, am I expecting too much, am I delegating enough. It’s waiting until I cannot move my neck to get to the chiropractor and biting my nails until they bleed to keep it all internalized.
I consistently forget everything. Like right now, we are out of paper towels and just opened the last pack of toilet paper at home, and the fridge is loaded to the point that it won’t stay shut with stuff that needs to be thrown out.
Oh and let’s not forget the guilt. Feeling like I am not living up to promises, aren’t doing enough to show the people I love that I think about them, like I’m always missing something. Guilt that I am not a good enough mom, friend and definitely not a good enough wife.
I know God gives mercy so freely, so today I am sad and praying for a little extra grace to get back out of the funk. Just wanted to share incase sometimes you get sad too.